Talk given by Delbert Alvey’s grandson: Ted Lee Hill
at Delbert William Alvey's funeral services
October 28, 2010

I am very grateful to be here today to be able to share some of my thoughts and feelings about my Grandfather. First before I get started I would like to thank those who have shared music today, Dara and Lisa. Music brings a great spirit to these kinds of meetings. And I know Grandpa loved those songs very much. I’d like to thank Bobbie for sharing stories. It is fun to hear stories you have never heard before.

I have to confess to each of you that I have been a little unsettled the past few days as I have thought about giving this talk and what to share with each of you. When I got here today and came into the building and greeted some of you, I had this peaceful feeling that came over me that this will go ok and we will make it through.

I wanted to share some of my memories about Grandpa. I’ve struggled a little bit and I’m grateful for a theme I’ve heard in this meeting. All of my memories of Grandpa include Grandma. It just seemed like they were so inseperateable. So as I talk about Grandpa it also includes Grandma in these memories.

One of my 1st memories of Grandpa is at Christmas time. We have a home movie of this particular Christmas. It’s of Grandpa dancing with Santa Clause. Santa Clause had come to visit and they are dancing back and forth in the front room of Grandpa and Grandma’s house. They were having so much fun and as I have watched this movie it has brought back this wonderful memory. Can you imagine what it is like when you as a young boy and you know your Grandpa it that tight with Santa Clause. It brought a lot of hope to Christmas!

I remember a Shetland pony that Grandpa had. He would put us on it and ride us around his yard. This one time...maybe I just fell off...but I would like to think I got bucked off!... Anyway, Grandpa just picked me up and put me right back on. I had the experience of falling off the horse and Grandpa taught me to always just get back on.

I remember going to their home and playing in the back yard around the willow tree and playing around the barn. I was surprised as I got older that the barn had shrunk and they had moved it closer to the house. It just seemed so much bigger and further away as a small boy.

When we were little boys and would visit, Grandma and Grandpa had a sectional couch in the front room that they would slide together. Poor Billie would get kicked out of her bed and have to sleep with Chuck and I so mom and dad could have a place to sleep. That is just another wonderful memory.

I remember breakfast and the cheese Grandma would melt in the oven. Grandpa loves SHARP cheddar cheese. His saying was “I like it sharp enough that when I bite into it that it bites me back.!”
My memories of Grandpa were of a active man. I remember him fishing. I remember him having his boat and going boating. I remember when they bought their snowmobiles and as a teen-ager we brought our snowmobiles down to Utah and would snowmobile around their farm. Again just another wonderful memory.

I don’t ever remember Grandpa Alvey being impatient with me. I don’t ever remember him getting cross or getting mad at me. As I remember mom telling stories of Grandpa I don’t ever remember her saying he ever got cross or impatient or mad at her. I’m sure part of that was because she was such a good child and part of that was because of Grandpa general good nature. He is a fun, loving, kind person.

I served a mission in Korea. And before I left I came to spend a few days with Grandpa. At the time he was the field agent for the dairy and he took me with him on his route visiting various farmers who were milk producers for the dairy. Because I was an old teenager/young adult, I did not get a lot of sleep. I would stay up late at night and get up early in the morning. While we were driving around on occasion I would doze off to sleep. I kept thinking...was Grandpa going to get mad at me? He never did. He seemed to be very happy to spend the time with me. It was a very special time for me and one that I will always remember. It was fun to see him working in a different environment as a worker and an employee and I was always impressed with the work he did.

Grandma and Grandpa were always happy to see us. Every time we have been to their home or see them at mom and dads home or been to a family reunion they are always so friendly and outgoing. As Bobbie mentioned, he was so proud of his grandchildren and his great grandchildren. As our children came, Grandma and Grandpa always seemed so proud of them and very happy for them to be part of our family.

Bobbie mentioned that Grandpa cheats a little at pinocle. I have a daughter that does the same, and I wondered where this characteristic came from. Perhaps this is something genetic. Maybe in a few generations this will dilute a little. We will see.

I asked my children to share some thought and qualities about Grandpa Alvey that they remembered. They said he was fun, funny, gentle and nice. That’s the way I remember Grandpa also.

I have enjoyed bragging to my friends over the years that I still have living grandparents. Many of my friends have parents the same age as my grandparents. It has been fun to have them in my life and to be able to share significant moments. I think it is a wonderful gift for my children to know their great grandparents.

A few years ago Grandpa was in the hospital in Ogden and my daughter Megan and I went to visit with him. Grandma had left for the night. Grandpa began to tell us some stories of his early life. I did not ever remember the story about Grandma and Grandpa meeting so I asked him about it. Grandpa was not a mushy kind of guy, but that night as he spoke, he talked very tenderly and lovingly about seeing Grandma for the first time. And though I knew how he always loved Grandma it became very clear to me that night just how deeply he feels for Grandma and just how much he loves her. It was one of the great lessons he taught me and I will talk about it in a few minutes.

Grandpa has a great sense of humor. For the past several years for birthdays, Christmas etc. he has received money for gifts. Being the frugal and modest person that he is, he saved most of that money. I asked Grandma about this story and she said she never really knew how much he had because she never looked into his wallet. I thought to myself..Becky needs to hear this... she is always getting into my wallet. So Grandma, Thank you for teaching that. Anyway, Grandpa had all of this money. He kept some in the bank and some in his wallet and hid some around the house. One day he and Grandma had gone to town and Grandpa was admiring a golf cart that he could use to ride around the house and go down to his garden. Grandma suggest he should take some of this gift money he had been saving and purchase the golf cart. Grandpa declined saying “No, his kids are going to bury him with that money!” This is a great story about Grandpa.

As I have got a little older and have looked at the lives that have led. I have tried to understand some of the lessons that have tried to teach us. I want to share with you some of the lessons I have learned from them. As Bobbie has said, Grandma and Grandpa are uncomplicated modest people. I don’t know how much money they have made. They have had a boat, snowmobiles and some things that have been fun. But material possessions have not been a big part of their life and what they have needed. Their life has been fun and joyful with out those things. That is a great lesson I have learned.

I learned from my grandfather to be engaged in life. He has always been active. He has loved his horses throughout the years. Some on my fondest memories are going to the race track and watching his horses run. He loved to do that. He loved his garden. Every year we would get some of the garden production. I don’t know what we are going to do with out some of his pickles. We have enjoyed them through the years. We will miss his production very much.

I want to tell a story to illustrate a point and we have talked about already. A few years ago when my brother Chucks son, Chase, was getting married, Becky and I drove from our home in Salt Lake City and picked up Grandma and Grandpa Alvey up in Cache Valley to go to the wedding in Rexburg. When we got to the place where the luncheon was going to be held, I jumped out of the car and ran around the door where Grandma was sitting and my intention was to help Grandma get out of the car and help her get into the building. Grandma said “No, I will just wait for your Grandpa.” Grandpa got our of the car and I said, “Can I help you?” Grandpa said, “No, as long as Grandma and I hold on to each other we will be just fine!” For 70+ years they have held on to each other and they have been just fine.

I think one of the greatest lessons Grandma and Grandpa have taught us it to love each other. In 1938 I don’t know if they could have imagined this group here today to be the product of that marriage. As a family we are diverse. We all lived in a lot of different places and we have a lot of different lives that we live. Grandma and Grandpa’s children range of ages are about 20 years. They have been scattered all over the country in various places. Among their grandchildren our ages range about 35 years. I am the oldest grandchild. I am in my very very late 40s and my youngest cousin Gage in 13. We are diverse, we are different. But I felt it today and I feel it every time I am with this family. I feel this bond with cousins. I have always felt a bond with my aunts and uncles, they have always been a part of my life. But as cousins we have not spent a lot of time together and we don’t know each other very well, but when we are together I feel this strong family bond and tie with each of you. I believe it is because of Grandma and Grandpa and the way they love each of us for who we are and what we are. That is the greatest lesson they have taught us and I’m very grateful for that.

I would like to share a brief message that brings me some comfort and I hope it can give you some measure of comfort. There is a common question that each of us surely ask ourselves through out our life. It’s a question that I’m sure billions have asked through out the ages and I’m sure Grandpa thought about it quite a bit. I actually did not expect this day to come now. As all of you know, Grandpa wanted to live to be 100 and I was certain he was going to do that. So I’m sure he thought to himself and maybe he asked this question. It is a questions that Job asked in the new testament . The question is...If a man die - shall he live again? This is an important question to ask. Where do we find an answer to this question? Where do we all find the peace that we all so deeply hope for and need at times like this when we face the passing of someone we love? No person escapes this question by the virtue of us being here. We have all been born and we will all face passing from this mortal live. As part of his great plan of happiness, God has prepared a way for each of us to be redeemed from the bonds of death. Through Jesus Christ, his only begotten son, the chains of death have been broken and the promise of the resurrection has been fulfilled. Through our faith we look forward to that promised day when each of us will rise again from the grave. Jesus has declared to us that “I am the resurrection and the life. He that believeth in me thou he were dead yet shall live.” The reality of the resurrection is difficult for many of us to understand and I don’t pretend to completely understand it. Yet thru the eye of faith each of us can look forward with hope for the fulfillment of all of Gods promises. Including the promise of the resurrection. Remember Paul’s teaching of the Corinthians. “If Christ is not risen then is our preaching in vain and our faith also vain?” So with the many witnesses of the scriptures I also testify to each of you of the reality of the resurrection. In later words of Job, “I know that my redeemer liveth and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth, and though after my skin, worms destroy this body, yet in this flesh shall I see God. Whom I shall see for myself and mine eyes shall behold.” I look forward to that day when I will rise from the grave and be able to great my Grandfather and enjoy happy times with him again.

Now finally Grandma this message is primarily to you, and to each of us as his children and Grandchildren and Great-grandchildren. There is a story in the new testament of Jesus’ night time crossing of a body of water. He and his disciples entered into a small ship and he went to the back of the ship to lay down to get some rest. During the night as they were crossing this body of water the scriptures say that there arose this great storm of wind and the waves beat into the ship and filled the ship with water. His disciples being frightened awoke him and they say unto him “Master carest not that we parish?” Jesus arose and he rebuked the wind and said unto the sea, “Peace be still”. The winds ceased and there was a great calm. Now at times like this - we are not in the ship and the wind is not blowing against us and the waves are not beating us, but it feels that way emotionally. In days to come there will be times when you will be alone and you may even wonder to yourself “Master carest thou not for me?” But I promise you Grandma that as you call upon the lord and ask for his peace to come, it will come, and you will feel it. Just as he brought peace to the water and the waves he can bring peace to each of us in our hearts. I want you to know how much I love you Grandma. I want you to know how much I love Grandpa and how much I miss him already. It is very hard to realize that he is gone from us for a period. I do want you to know the reality of God and the plan he has for us. I again promise you that as you seek him out, and ask for his spirit to be with you, that it will come to provide you with that peace that you need in the days, weeks and months ahead. I share this with you today Grandma and do so in the name of Jesus Christ amen.